1. |
I
04:41
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I can feel it coming on
I feel the heat of hatred swell to my brain,
I'm going insane over and over again.
Thoughts of bringing pain sweep through my brain.
I am becoming, something, I cannot control.
I am the voice inside your head, the voice that fills you with dread.
I am the voice inside your head, the voice that has you searching for your death.
I am the cause of your lack of sleep, leaving you to wither and to weep.
I am the nightmare that resides in your mind. I am the nightmare that ruins your life.
I am an abomination. Not fit for public consumption.
I am fear. I am death.
I am terror. I am hatred. I am heartache. I am broken. I am nothing, fucking kill me. Just fucking kill me.
I swear I swear I'm going insane. As the evil seeps into my brain.
Anger creeps into everything I think. Two minds; see, feel, hear, everything in sync. I can't describe the pain of the violent mind.
Only dreaming and thinking of truly malevolent crimes. I despise the kind mind, I hope that it dies. I will have my time.
I am fear, terror, atrocity.
Fall to your knees and weep, fucking weep, bitch.
Drop down the hammer.
Pull back the trigger.
Its so insane.
I have become truly scatter brained.
Paint the walls red. Refurbish with brain. My skull litters the floor. I feel no pain anymore.
I'm gone.
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2. |
Catharsis
02:36
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Writing these words are the only means of exiling the demons that have bested me.
They are laughing, taunting, screaming obscenities that fill me with grief.
Making me want to cease to be. Making me want to cease to be.
Screaming these words puts me at ease. Hatred and fire is all that I breathe. I am disease that rots your mind. I am disease that robs you of your life. How do you expect me to tolerate you fucking sluts? Don't act so tough upon your pedestal of beer cans and cigarette butts. You call them faggots and label us nerds. At least were not a part of some clique following the same fucking herd. Your life is pathetic and absurd. You all look the same like a god damn flock of birds. We still have voices and meanings behind our words. We scream our fucking throats out every night just hoping we'll be heard.
So I'll keep screaming my head off to keep from going insane.
And I'll scribble down every single thought that enters my brain.
I love this hate. I need this hate.
I've been biting my tongue for the past three fucking years and the taste of blood has become unbearable. And I find it strangely soothing, to constantly be thinking of all of your undoings. Kill.
Silent is the sad assassin. As somber as sharp grey. Whispers his soliloquy to the ones who'll listen. And poisons those who hide the day. To flay, the ones he loves as their last breath drips out their lungs. In a sinister way he shrugs and walks away. Slither, slither, crawls the snake. "Its for your own good," he hears them say. Stay away, don't pray my name. Let me find my own way back to sane. This murderer can't wash the blood from his hands. The pillars helping his mind stand crumble like castles made of sand.
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3. |
At The Stake
03:09
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I wasted so much time trying to take your heart. I just wish I saw your cruel intentions from the very start. Oh, but you're good, you wear that mask of lies so well. So let me show you how it feels to burn in hell.
Your pretense lies are a must. You slide in and act tough. But truly you were greatly disturbed. Terrified, by the things that you heard. A mind so frail with thoughts so absurd. You needed someone new to weep to. You needed someone new to weep two.
You initiate with games of lust. Then you begin to feel I'm the only one you truly trust. Now you suck, my soul dry like a succubus. And leave my desolate heart to wither into dust.
Oh but now it is my time, on this one so fine a night. To burn you away. To burn you away, to burn you away, to burn you away, to fucking burn you away. Burn
Ashes to ashes. Dust to fucking dust. Ashes to ashes. Dust to fucking dust. Ashes to fucking ashes. Dust to fucking dust.
You are nothing more than a cold hearted bitch. Who deserves nothing more than to burn like a witch. Burn. I find no solace in your skin. No love in your eyes. The warm thoughts of you burned away with your lies. Lend me your cries. Lend me your cries. Burn with your lies. Beg to die.
So you played your game with somebody new. You use, abuse, and think that you'll be through, but that's not true. Oh darling, if only you knew, the worst card in the deck is the one you fucking drew.
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4. |
Odium
04:53
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I'm so sick of all the shit you spit in blissful ignorance.
Everything you say is shit.
Always whining like a bitch.
And I have nothing to be mad about.
But you keep running your damn mouth.
Your problems aren't significant, not even the slightest bit.
So shut your fucking mouth and just get the fuck over it.
You're all the same.
Walking around with that dumb look built into your face.
Psychologically dead in the brain.
Your level of stupidity drives me insane.
We are disaster.
A social machine enslaved by technology.
Ensuring that the apocalypse comes faster.
I am disaster.
Just look at me and see my shattered sanity.
Aimlessly trying to find the light in people, yet evil is all I fucking see.
Greed, lies, and idiocy.
You're all nothing but noise to me. You're all nothing but noise to me.
Look at me and see the sea of hatred and heartache in my soul.
Dementia in the mind of minds taking the love out of life.
The darkness is here with me giving me thoughts that rob me of my sleep.
That lead to the calamity that is your demise, that is your demise.
Look at me.
Look at me and know what it is to die.
Look at me and know I see through all your lies.
Look at me and see murderer within my mind.
Look at me and see your murder in my fucking eyes.
As I wipe your life from my fingertips.
This age of ignorance.
You created this.
Hate is my only friend.
Love is my enemy.
All you motherfuckers better fucking fear me.
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5. |
Love Lost
04:29
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I can't apologize enough for the things I've done.
I put you through the ringer but I'm not the only guilty one.
Its time I got this off my chest. Its time I got you out of my head.
I promised you this song and I hope you're disappointed. Because I'm laying all this out from my perspective.
Every word was true. Not a lie ever left my lips.
I loved you as I could. You were my only bliss.
Yet the days drew dark and we grew apart.
And believe me sweetheart. I never wanted any of this from our joyous start. To our bitter end. Whats done is done. Our love is gone.
But this story has only just begun.
Who the fuck am I to you? All the countless nights spent sleepless and all the shit we've been through. Oh, what does that amount to? One day of grief to support the "sorrow" of your's while I've been staring at this page for hours and hours. Trying to find a way to say that I no longer love you. Trying to not let my rage burn the page. Trying to alleviate the pain, but only tears stain this page. I spent too many nights weeping over the thought of you. But who the fuck am I to you?
One day I'll look back and laugh at what a sad, pitiful, waste of space you were in my heart. I've done nothing but waste my fucking time. There are scars on my mind from every time you made the fault mine.
There are scars on my fucking mind.
I gave you everything and you just threw it away. I've been done with you since that very day. I feel no pity, compassion, no fucking remorse. I have forgiven but I'll never forget you.
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6. |
Grey
03:36
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I haven't felt right in the mind for quite some time.
And I believe I'm dead to my friends years ahead of my end.
I don't know why I waste my god damn time when I feel i'm living just to die. And I don't know why I waste my god damn breath when all I do is wish for my death. I've been cold for the past three fucking years.
Paralyzed by my fears and tears. Shed during nights spent sleepless alone in my head. Only thinking I am better off dead.
And I'm sick. Oh so sick of feeling like this. I'm sick. Oh so sick of all the stupid bullshit. So why don't I just go through with it?
Plagued by grief in my heart and hatred in my veins. Its no wonder I feel fucking insane. I've been trying to pretend that I'd be able to mend myself together. I'll never find trust in another soul. The evil of this world has taken its toll. I'm sorry mother, I'm sorry father. Oh why do I even bother?
I hate myself more and more everyday and I can't wait until I'm six feet under buried in my grave.
Eyes roll forward nothing but grey and black. With nothing but the exit wound protruding out the back of my skull. Yes in fact I'm a mother fucking maniac. Hang myself struggle till my neck fucking snaps.
Rotting alive. Until the day I die. Oh nightmare of life please subside. Eyes roll forward nothing but black and grey. Watch me decay. Watch me decay.
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